If this doesn't inspire you, nothing will.
Hello everyone Im a regular member on beckett.com and many of you know me , I just want to share something personal and something I am very greatful to the hobby for but would rather stay annonymous: please please take the time to read this It may help you or someone you love
Around 1998 I was involved in a very serious car accident and the responding officer told my wife at the time it was an absolute honest to god miricle that I lived through it, in result of that accident I needed quite a few operations due to the extent of my injuries, and as many people know the first thing after a surgery the first thing the doctor does is load you up with pain meds to keep the patient from and suffering. as for me I was the type of person who never drank and especially never ever would go near drugs, not even and asprin for a headache, so as normally I refused to take any of the pain meds the doctor tried to give me, but still he wrote some prescriptions and gave them to my wife to fill with out my knowledge. so the first day out my pain was pretty much unbearable to the point that it hurt to even breath, so by that night I had no choice but to take these very very powerful painkillers that the doc had my wife get from the pharmacy, and no longer than 45 minutes after I took them the pain subsided a very considerable amount and I was no longer in that gut wrenching pain and able to fall asleep, so I bit the bullet and admitted to myself that its okay to take them, that is what they are for to relieve me from suffering, and the doc says its fine to take
So as a person in my condition I pretty much was given and endless supply of what at the time I didn't know was a very very very addicting narcotic drug called oxycontin that is said to be stronger then heroin, all I had to do is see the doc and go to the pharmacy for my "medicine". well as time went on and I began to heal and had less and less pain but was taking more and more pills that the doctor more than happily gave me and I would say to myself "I mean if a doctor is giving it to me then I'm not doing anything harmful, I mean hes the one with all the diplomas"right? WRONG! and over time my habit became to a point that I would run out of my prescription two-three weeks before I could get more, eventually when it came time for the doctor to give me my month supply it now was only lasting about a week at the most! so I turn to the streets to supply and feed the unbelievable addiction I had aquiered, finally the doc got tired of my lies and stories and just pretty much cut me off and closed his door to me and never looked back, with not even giving me any advice on how to get help or stop. Eventually I found someone who I could buy as many as I wanted anytime anyday of the week and thats when things took a turn for the worst
So let fast forward 5 years its now 2003 I lost my wife, my family, my house, my car, and my job and pretty much living on friends couch and my whole life was revolved around how am I gonna get my next score, and how will I pay for it, and nothing els mattered, and the craziest thing is I was never able to admit that the drugs were the reason my life was in shambles,in my mind I was just a guy down on his luck that cant catch a break
Eventually after hitting many lows and getting arrested I was forced with an ultimatum either go to jail or go to rehab, so obviously I went to rehab which help for a bit but as time when on I was back out doing the same thing and still in denial that drugs was the reason that my life was completely and utterly a disaster, I went to rehab for a second time just to keep my family from basicly disowning me and just like last time I only stayed clean for a few weeks, and just continued living that vicious circle day in and day out. untill, one day I went to my parents house unannounced and my wife was there, little did I know this whole time she never stopped seeing my family and they looked at her more as there daughter then me as their son, it was the first time I seen her in nearly 3 years and I had the same feeling in my stomach as I did when I saw her for the first time ever, and It killed me to know that Ive lost her.
Third time back in rehab and this time I check myself in for me because I finally was able to look in the mirror and admit that I had a very very seriouse problem and If I dont stop and really do something I will end up dead or in jail all alone, so I completed a 90 day treatment plan and moved to a halfway house for people like I was,and started my 12 step program along with NA and it was no easy task, when I was at work or busy doing my house duties things were for the most part easy, but when there was down time, the cravings were unbearable to the point where all I could think about was using, and actually did slip quit a few times but over all stay on a straight path,
One day the I was at my parents house helping clean the storage room and I found this huge box with MY CARDS written on it, and it hit me that this was my baseball card collection from when I a kid!!!! So I wrestled it up into my car to take home with me to check out when I had time, I had no idea what I had inside it was over 20 years since I been in that box, so on the way home I stopped to see if Beckett still sold price guides and there it was Ill never forget the cover it was a yellow cover with a 2001 Bowman Chrome Albert Pujols rookie auto on it and its said something like $3500 for this card????
I learned how much cards have changes since the 80s and was totally just drawn to the fact that there were pieces of jerseys that the players actually wore built right in the card and some are even signed???????So I had the price guide out to check my old stash and just one example I pulled out my complete set of 1987 topps all excited thinking it was gonna be worth a few hundered dollars and yes lol we all know the answer to that one, but still it was soooo cool to see all these old memories from when I was a innocent little boy all right in front of me I felt like I went back in time...But from reading the Beckett I couldn't wait to check out this new stuff that was out. So I found a hobby shop not to far from my house that I been driving past for years and never knew it was there? and bought a bunch of assorted packs of many different products that were out at that time and couldn't wait to get in the car to open them,and that was it my first pack I opened was a legendary cuts and pulled a cut auto of some old timer waite hoyte? or somethin like that( talk about beginners luck)
So as time when on I started picking up whole boxes so I could get the box hits and I was really into building sets and had a couple of players collections I started to work on. and for the first time in nearly 10 years I finally found what I was looking for to fill that empty void that was created by the horrible disease of addiction, and then eventually I found the mother load of all......Ebay!!!! endless amounts of cards to search and buy, and plus one of my favorite things to do, look at those super high end cards I will never ever be able to afford but its always fun to wish
As time when on I grew a huge collection with quite a few really nice hi dollar hits but didnt know what to do with the ones I really didnt want but knew others probably did. and a fellow collector taught me how to sell on ebay which was great and thats when my renewed love for collecting cards was the one single thing I can say brought me back from what was truely hell on earth
So now 3/13/2010 its 2 years to the day clean!!!! and I can truly say that I am a happy man and I am just so greatful for this hobby, this website, and all the wonderful people Ive met through this hobby like I said in the beginning if your a regular on these beckett boreds you know who I am as I am a regular on here daily, but just would rather keep all this on a annonymous level since its a very emotional subjuct and I do know that some people dont understand the struggle of addiction and can sometimes pass judgement that effects thier outlook on an me as an addict
If your young or old this can happen to anyone, I never thought it could happen to me since I was a very anti drug and alcohol individual,and just as innocently as I thought I had to do it just because a doctor said it was okay, it took ahold of me and didnt let go for alomost 11 years, oh and I am back living with my wife happy as ever for almost a year now and still attend NA 12 step meetings regularly.....I hope at least one person can learn from this and JUST SAY NO!!!!
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